“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves—one for your enemy and one for yourself.”
Confucius
“We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matter is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation—just think of an incurable disease such as inoperable cancer—we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
August 4th will always be a day that stops me. It is a day in which I am moved to focus on life in all its simplicity and beauty, and remember…
August 4, 1944, is when Anne Frank and all eight of those with her were betrayed and captured—after two years and one month in hiding. All of them, with the exception of Otto Frank, were murdered in the Holocaust. Mr. Frank was the only one who amazingly survived to keep his daughter’s legacy alive.
Most of you know about my long friendship with Otto Frank, documented in my talks and book, Dear Cara-Letters From Otto Frank. There is so much I learned from my extraordinary mentor, but one of the pivotal lessons was something he said to me when we finally met in person after years and years of correspondence.
We were quietly chatting in his home in Basel, Switzerland, when I asked him, “Otto, do you know who betrayed you?” His reaction startled me. He turned and stared into my eyes and just said simply, “It doesn’t matter.”
In that moment I realized that he did indeed know, or had a strong suspicion of who the perpetrator “i.e. perpeTRAITOR” was, but in the end, did it really matter to talk about, eviscerate, etc. this person? What good would it do? Would it resurrect his family? Bring his beloved daughters back to him? Absolutely not. What it would do would continue to fuel Otto’s own suffering and that of other truly good people in the alleged betrayer’s family who would live generations of pain being associated with such a villain. What was the point in that?
There is much documented, many books written on this subject (read Carole Ann Lee’s, The Hidden Life of Otto Frank); so many who could easily be fingered as the betrayer. But really, did it matter? That reality not only hit me hard but it has forced me to ask myself time and time again when wanting to right a wrong that has two-by-foured my life and sent me crashing. What good would it do to take on the same stance and cruelty and attitude as the dark force leveling me? Wouldn’t it be like changing places and becoming the exact embodiment of that same evil?
Just look at the state of our world today—violence perpetuating violence—locally, regionally, globally. The bloodshed and recriminations are endless and escalating. What if everyone just said, “Enough! This just doesn’t matter the way we’re playing it out.” What a world that would be…
That’s what Otto Frank did. Even in the depths of his pain, he ultimately turned to what was meaningful in his life—keeping his daughter’s last wishes of immortality and her love for humanity alive. In that choice he not only saved his own life, but that of generations of others who turned to him for hope—me being just one of his global correspondents.
Otto Frank chose love over hate and for him, that is what truly mattered. And that choice of his changed my life as well…
“The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved.” Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
