“Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.” ~ Robert Frost
A few days ago, Pete and I headed for a Broadway musical playing in downtown San Diego—If/Then, starring Tony-award-winning Idina Menzel (Wicked, Rent, Frozen, Glee). I was so excited I could barely contain myself.
But as we slogged through the rainy streets towards our gleaming, sparkling theatrical goal, noting all the duded up patrons ahead of us and the warm, shining lights glowing within I couldn’t help but notice the other “patrons.” Those wandering nomads of the streets; most of them hidden under soggy tarps and trash bags, hunkered beneath awnings and tucked into doorways, pushing piles of refuse packed into rusty shopping carts. The homeless. So many of them. I could hear some of their whispers to each other as we passed by. My heart ached. Oh the line. The line is so fine between them and me.
I was instantly filled with equal parts of shame and gratitude. Sadness for them. Gladness that it wasn’t I caught in the rain but rather the I who was heading to a far more privileged path. Lucky me. Unlucky them. How fair was that? I wondered. Why me? Why them? Is it all luck? Fate? Choice? A Cosmic Coin Toss?
And that is kind of the theme of that startlingly incredible musical, If/Then. How did we end up here? What would have happened if one path/person/career was chosen over the other? That’s what they ask over and over again. And then reinforce the themes of Love While You Can; No More Wasted Time; Always Starting Over; and then one of my favorites “What The F–?”
I always wonder if this thing called Life is just one big accidental Big Bang Boom of Molecules slamming into each other and somehow we find ourselves where we find ourselves. Or do we actually plan each lifetime (I believe in reincarnation and I know some of you do and some of you don’t.) But did we sit around a table in that Other Life and plan the roles we want to play out in this lifetime just so we can learn and grow and become more insightful, loving and loved beings? This time we’re friends another time enemies; or lovers or spouses; or siblings; or parents or parentless; or different genders; or prisoners; heroes or cowards; or royalty; or starving; or blind; disabled; or sighted… on and on and on.
What are we supposed to learn from the part we’re playing right now? I keep hearing that If/Then song, “Some Other Me”… which throws out all the plethora of possibilities one could be but are not if they were “some other me.” It baffles the mind.
This whole conundrum reminds me of a Timex commercial I saw way back when sometime in the late Sixties I believe. In it you see a man and a woman walking towards each other in slo-mo through a crowded street. The voice-over says that soon these two will meet, fall in love, have two children, live in a white-picket-fence country home, both having great careers, etc. You get the picture. It was perfection! And you anticipate that moment when they do look into each other’s eyes. However, it never happens. Because, as the announcer says, he didn’t have a Timex watch and they missed each other by one second. SCREAM! Think of it. The nano-seconds that separate Gold Medal winners from the Silvers and Bronzes. Just tiny little hair-like increments of time can make all the difference.
So I leave you at the point where I’m at right now in this New Year of twists and turns and strange roller-coastering rides we’re on and the tragillions of possible paths we choose to take or fall onto or slam into or carefully orchestrate…
Maybe the only real thing that matters is where and who and what we are RIGHT NOW. Good, bad, horrid, happy, wonderful, fair, unfair, etc., etc. Maybe in the middle of the If and the Then is the THIS. And the choice is to live with it or change it or leave it or love it or….? I haven’t the faintest answer. But I do want to embrace the THIS of my life while I have it for whatever reason I do have it.
And I’m very glad you’re in my THIS too. Because after all, WTF?
Great, momma. Cheers to the WTF while living in the THIS.
Very beautifully said, Cara. I love this piece. I’m glad your in my THIS too!